Wow! That's a long list of hipster attributes. I would throw in my two cents, but as I work at a desk but wear Dickies work shirts I probably can't talk. I don't sport chucks, but force folk in my photography and vid project to, so again, I can't speak on this.
Dude, a man of science such as yourself should have realized by now that hipsters aren't real. They are a cross between a boogie man and the universal whipping boy, a gestalt construct of the myriad dumb things that kids of privilege nowadays can get away with, along with the more ridiculous aspects of the internet. The first mistake is when they are adressed as people. They are not actual peoplle, they are air and noise.
...aside from their idiotic pants, vests and hats, they download apps for their devices, ride ironic bikes, defend 'the social network', used to play guitar hero until the collective decided not to, learn flash, like michael jackson, saftey pin their scarves, feign a disinterest, take public transit for a flash mob, download 'band of horses', stand in line for an izakaya, think 4:20 is something, play bass, forward planking pictures, love michael moore, won't be tired of zombies until others are, are tweetering about camping overnight for their iPad3, know the cast of SNL, have zero understanding or aim with sarcasm, comlain about tranformers 2 but will be still watch the third, worship ben gibbard, fear anything exclusively male, are still clinging to their interest in betty white, think obama has accomplished something, practice for the big 'lip dub', make their influnce meme (thinking a meme is actually something), think JJ abrams has any sort of vision...
i can see them everyday, people who all of these attributes apply. they exist.
I dunno man, that just sounds like dumb kids with money and too much free time to me. To give such a common phenomenon a name is like calling starvation a disease. Is needlessly complicated, and like starvation, it's a problem that's been around since times inumerable with no real concrete way of taking care of it.
...aside from their idiotic pants, vests and hats, they download apps for their devices, ride ironic bikes, defend 'the social network', used to play guitar hero until the collective decided not to, learn flash, like michael jackson, saftey pin their scarves, feign a disinterest, take public transit for a flash mob, download 'band of horses', stand in line for an izakaya, think 4:20 is something, play bass, forward planking pictures, love michael moore, won't be tired of zombies until others are, are tweetering about camping overnight for their iPad3, know the cast of SNL, have zero understanding or aim with sarcasm, comlain about tranformers 2 but will be still watch the third, worship ben gibbard, fear anything exclusively male, are still clinging to their interest in betty white, think obama has accomplished something, practice for the big 'lip dub', make their influnce meme (thinking a meme is actually something), think JJ abrams has any sort of vision...
i can see them everyday, people who all of these attributes apply. they exist.